Bush & Company

An Election Eve Message From the GOP:

Back in 2008, President Sarah Palin received her first 3 A.M. phone call.

Startled awake from sweet dreams of freshly slaughtered Bullwinkle burgers and Anwar melting into a sea of black gold, the former beauty queen reached first for her shotgun and then for the telephone.

It was Karl Rove.

Less than five-months later, moments after President-elect McCain had passed away while taking his Oath of Office, Sarah Palin was sworn in as our 44th President, at the age 0f 44.

She added three bold Amendments to the U.S. Constitution: the Unconditional Abolition of Abortion; the Unconditional Abolition of Gay Marriage & Gay Sex and the Unconditional Abolition of the Teaching of Evolution & Science in Schools.

She also eliminated the Endangered Species Act, which paved the way for oil exploration in all 50 states, mining in the Grand Canyon, and hunting in the National Parks & Wildlife Sanctuaries.

With the Privatization of Social Security and the banning of all Federal Assistance programs, the U.S. Government was able to remove the tax burden for millionaires and corporations, across this great nation.

In a gutsy effort to accelerate the Rapture, Commander-in-Chief Palin launched a full-scale nuclear attack simultaneously against Russia and China, ushering in World War III on Christmas Eve, 2009.

With all these accomplishments to her credit, President Sarah Palin stands poised to answer the call for four more years.

As she prepares to enter the Thunderdome with Militant Opposition Leader Hillary Rodham Clinton, let us pray to God Almighty that it is President Palin who emerges victorious.

But, it’s not real news, you explain in vain to a dwindling trickle of Republican friends, on a steady IV drip of Hannity, Gibson and Hume—now available without a prescription on Fox News. But these fair and balanced viewers wouldn’t want their news any other way. Would you like a little quid with your pro quo, Mr. Giuliani?

To be sure, the cum laude graduates of the Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch College of Clowns & Buffoons keep the audience entertained as they juggle facts, tweak red noses of half-truths and bitch-slap one another with rubber mallets of propaganda—all while riding unicycles of opinion.

The News Corp. cable network peddling We Distort, You Decide has been earning its exclusive interviews with Junior Bush, Dick Cheney and Condi Rice ever since the right-wing think tanks first found their parrots an echo chamber.

Inside the GOP circus tent fueled by elephant effluvia, Fox & Friends perform their daily high-wire act, as Michelle Malkin text-messages Michael Savage with the news: WMDs have been found in Iraq!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, viewers can feel their breath quicken.

Face it, Malkin, you self-appointed liberal-media-bias-girl: Fox isn’t fooling anyone who doesn’t want to be fooled.

It is not possible to win The War on Terror without first understanding the root causes of terrorism and the motives behind those declaring Jihad against the West.

On September 11, 2001, a small but potent faction of Middle Eastern terrorists calling themselves al-Qaeda, succeeded in carrying out the most heinous attack ever perpetrated on U.S. soil. The nation shocked and in mourning for the nearly 3,000 people killed, was at a loss for answers.

But instead of searching for the truth and disabling the terrorist clan, the Bush Administration sought to deceive the public and spin the facts into an opportunity to invade Iraq. Discussions with allies were halted, United Nations Weapons Inspectors were disbanded and U.S. troops, initially deployed to Afghanistan where the Taliban hosted al-Qaeda, were redirected to Iraq. As Operation Iraqi Freedom was carried out, President George W. Bush divided the world into two camps—one that was with him and one that was against him. In the meantime, the terrorist leader Osama bin Laden and his chief Lieutenant Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri made their escape. Three-and-a-half years later, while Iraq disintegrates in civil war, becoming the base for terrorists it had never been prior to the U.S. invasion, the Taliban has reemerged in Afghanistan and bin Laden is still at large.

The small but potent al-Qaeda has now mushroomed into an international terrorist network and with the aid of assorted splinter-groups, perpetrate acts of terrorism across the globe.

Iran and North Korea have crashed the gates of the once exclusive nuclear club, attempting to thwart preemptive strikes against them by the U.S., and President Bush’s Axis of Evil has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The worldwide sympathy and support the United States first secured following the 9-11 attacks has all but evaporated as the Administration continues to disregard its allies and steamroll over the facts that led to this clash of civilizations.

With 16 government agencies now conceding that the war has increased the terrorist threat, mounting evidence that the President and Vice President Dick Cheney were not honest about the reasons for invading Iraq, a commanding number of retired U.S. generals condemning the Administration’s rigid “stay the course” policy there, members of the President’s own party distancing themselves from his belief system, opinion polls plummeting in every aspect of GOP leadership, and anti-American sentiment surging even among its allies, at what point does the President’s power implode?

Those who question the President’s authority are deemed terrorist appeasers and likened to Nazi-Fascist-Communist sympathizers by the President and his few remaining cohorts, while the Bill of Rights is all but eliminated by his decrees and signing statements—assuring his absolute power continues to corrupt absolutely.

President Bush admittedly does not negotiate with dissenters from any crowd—be they leaders of foreign nations, members opposing political parties, or even colleagues in his own inner circle. How then can he be expected to abolish this enemy called terrorism if he won’t explore its dark underbelly?

U.S. foreign policy in the Middle East, including the unconditional support of Israel by the United States government, is unquestionably one of the core rationales behind the Arab world’s simmering rage against us. The Palestinians, invalidated and debased in their homeland, fuel that rage and when Israel revisited its strategy to invade its neighbor Lebanon, in August 2006, the United States was still standing by Israel’s side. However, the world community was not and Israeli troops were forced to retreat—but not before scores of lives had been extinguished on both sides of the border.

By facilitating the establishment of an equitable state for Palestine, the United States government will have taken a step in easing an underlying conflict that fuels the terrorism inferno. In demonstrating its willingness to seek out legitimate answers to the questions that still haunt Americans about September 11, 2001, the government can begin to regain the trust of allies it will undoubtedly need to call upon again in an uncertain world.

Classified British documents, recently published in The Times of London, reveal that President George W. Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair secretly agreed to attack Iraq and overthrow Saddam Hussein—and had discussed creating justifications to support that decision—months before congressional authorization was sought.

Eighty-eight Democratic members of Congress and one Independent have since signed a letter asking the president for an explanation, saying the report “raises troubling new questions regarding the legal justifications for the war as well as the integrity of your own administration.”

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The U.S. State Department and the Italian Foreign Ministry released a statement April 29 declaring that a joint commission had failed to agree on a report into the March 4 killing of an Italian agent by American soldiers in Iraq. No joint report would be issued, it said.

A preliminary report, leaked three days earlier, had cleared soldiers from the U.S. Army’s 3rd Infantry Division, who opened fire on a Toyota carrying freed Italian hostage Giuliana Sgrena, the prominent intelligence agent who negotiated her rescue, and a bodyguard at a U.S. military checkpoint.

While U.S. military investigators concluded the fleeing Italians ignored soldiers’ warnings and refused to slow down at the checkpoint, the two Italian investigators did not agree with these findings. Both governments have since issued final reports on their separate conclusions.

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